A Donovan Goodbye

 It was the last day of January 2021 when Donovan decided he was done with this world and he said farewell to it forever. I did not find out until the next morning when I looked on Facebook and saw his mother Misty's post, saying she had found his lifeless body and she couldn't breathe.

Donovan, only 18, is the grandson of my sister Tami, who passed in 2008. He is her son Damien's oldest child. I did not know Donovan very well but followed his story told by his proud, loving mom on social media. I did not realize that he was so very depressed. 

It was a Monday morning when I found out. The day was unbelievable energy-wise. Before I even got out of bed, I could tell something was up. A few minutes later, when I learned of his passing, I understood it. 

All day, I could feel Donovan everywhere. At one point, I was out pacing in the yard and the kid across the street was riding in his ATV. We both blew off steam that way during these days of Covid. We were often out at the same time but never really acknowledged each other until that Monday.

I had just reached the end of one trail the dogs and I have worn in my yard and the kid had just reached the end of his dirt drive, where he usually turned and headed back. He stopped and looked up at me. I stopped and looked up at him...and saw Donovan. Donny waved at me. I waved back. We both looked at each other for a good long moment. Goodbye. 

I continued to pace and the ATV kid continued to ride. Our eyes met and we waved several times but I did not see Donovan again. Since then, though, I feel him very much around, as he is with his mama, who has begun her journey to help others deal with mental illness. I hope to help her and support her efforts in every way I can. 

Crazy energy that day, filled with messages. The first -- that Donovan was okay. Our time on this planet is such a tiny part of our soul journey. The second -- he was saying goodbye for sure. The family that lived in the house of the ATV kid moved out that day! I'm not kidding. I had noticed less traffic there lately but didn't think they were actually moving. 

I did not see ATV Kid for a while. He's been back since but just to check on the place, I guess. He's the only one from the family who comes back. When he goes by my house, if I'm outside, he looks away, like he doesn't know me. No waves or smiles exchanged. Is there a message there? I'm thinking on it. 

Writing this post was healing for me. I deferred to Donovan once or twice, felt his loving support. Thank you, Donny, for gracing us with your loving humor and immense kindness. You weren't on this planet long but you made a positive difference to so many. I love you. 

Until next time, peace.