Bullying and Mindfulness

It's no secret that bullying is a problem, not only in school with our kids but also in life in general. People can be pretty mean. I'm sure most of us have been the victim of a bully or have seen bullying happen to others. We study bullying and report its different variations (physical, verbal, mental) and the effects it has on victims, and it seems like the conversation always centers on how to react to bullying. There isn't much talk about how to prevent it in the first place.

According to the Huffington Post (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/franklin-schargel/bullying-what-schools-par_b_4103901.html), schools should do the following, and more, in order to deal with bullying:

• reduce unsupervised time in the school day
• better monitor places where bullying happens
• train teachers to spot and handle incidents
• encourage all to report bullying when they see it
• establish a procedure to investigate reports of bullying

These are all well and good but is that really the way we should approach the issue? It seems that it is the responsibility of everyone but the bully to address the problem. Even the victims feel the need to practice avoidance. Why do they have to do that?

I propose that we quit focusing on identifying, reporting, punishment, and the negative and instead look at things from a positive, kind perspective. Let's focus on prevention by teaching our kids, including the bullies, to be more mindful.

According to Edutopia (https://www.edutopia.org/blog/teaching-kindness-essential-reduce-bullying-lisa-currie), experiencing kindness in any way changes the brain. It's possible to talk about kindness and show examples of kindness but it really isn't learned unless you feel it.

When you feel kindness, endorphins are released, endorphins that trigger the areas of the brain associated with happiness, social interconnection, and trust. Even the smallest act of kindness can:

• strengthen your sense of well-being
• make you more energetic
• make you feel more optimistic
• foster empathy

Kindness increases serotonin levels, resulting in, among other things:

• more effective learning
• better memory
• creative thinking
• better mood
• greater attention span

We need to shift our focus and our perspective a little when we talk about how to handle bullying. Instead of focusing on the problem and how to get rid of it, let's make it about living a mindful life, one in which we realize that we are all on this planet together and we all struggle. Let's don't raise bullies in the first place.

Teachers, continue to orchestrate a mindful class and help your students learn to be kind to themselves and to each other. We all know there are kids who go home to anger and abuse so maybe schools could also help parents, through workshops, learn to live more mindful lives, too. If we start now, it won't take long for bullying to be a problem of the past.